June 21st

            Having a "bad" day. Been so busy and a friend is in real trouble so my food
            has been what ever is available and of course the old habits of "well I've
            broken it so I might as well make the most of it and eat everything in sight"...

           Sigh. Hey ho, tomorrow is another day as Scarlet says and friendship must
           come first.

            Hope you are faring better than me.

                                                  Day 15
                                                Free Day!


            Exactly two weeks since I started. Yes I am smaller and feel slightly better about
            myself although I'm nowhere near my preferred shape (yet).

            I've just had a banana and trust me I will not be eating either eggs or fish today!
            During the week I resisted chocolate muffins and jam doughnuts brought into work.
            I'd have loved a piece of hot buttery toast or a cool creamy yoghurt.

            I'll confess to scoffing raspberries and strawberries as we picked them out of our
            garden. So nice still warm from the sun. Tonight I'm looking forward to a glass of
            homemade raspberry wine, given to me by a neighbour.

           Will I continue? Yes. The first thoughts I had this morning were about what I could
            or should eat and self critical spite about the roll of fat still around my tummy.
            These thoughts subside during the other days as there is no question about what I
            am allowed and even better, no restriction. Believe me I have eaten loads and had
            late night snacks of roasted vegetables. They were done in olive oil (the real deal,
            full fat sort).

           Good luck to anyone joining me on finding freedom from the constant yo yo diets.

                               Doing well although right now I would love a glass of wine!

                  Resisted some Blueberry muffins at work yesterday. They looked lovely.
                  I've mentally added one to my list of things I'm allowed on Saturday.

                 Having one day off a week really does help fend off some of the cravings, none
                 of which are hunger. It's all mental desires. Eating with my eyes.

                 On the up side I am wearing my old work jeans which had become far too tight
                 to be bearable. They are snug but not stupidly so. I will admit to an unsightly
                 bulge over the waist band which is nicely hidden by my top (I hope!).

                 This 1, 2, 3 does suit me though. Slim figure here I come...

                 

                                                 Day 9

                Yesterday I chose to break my self- imposed rules. Just for the one day. Why?
               
                 I have read that this kick starts the metabolism. It also gives a mental break and
                 possibly helps with the discipline of the rest of the week. So how did it go?
                 Not well. I started with grapes (notice a theme here?) and enjoyed a falafel and
                 chickpea bagette whilst shopping for bedroom accessories with the eldest daughter.

                 I love bread so later, back at home had more, 2 toasted baps and a tuna roll made
                 with soft lovely  fresh french bread. Quickly slipped into the old pattern of, "well
                 as today is ruined I had better make the most of it and eat everything I won't be
                 allowed tomorrow.  Foolish eh?

                 Must I continue with the embarrassing revelations? Yes.
                 My gluttony included 2 small dark chocolate bars, 2 mini raspberry magnums and
                 the rest of the grapes. The remains of some chocolate yoghurt the girls had left.

                 I made myself eat up until midnight. I felt foul and very tired and drained. Bread
                 does seem to have this effect on me.

                 Well this morning I awoke early because my hobby interest meant going off to
                 compete in sunny Wales. The usual thoughts of diet and guilt were there bothering me
                 and I could easily have given up again. But I haven't. And my uniform was definitely
                 looser and better fitting than last Sunday. My jacket could do up without looking
                 ridiculous and my trousers were very comfortable.

                 I feel confident and those diet thoughts have vanished again. On with the 1, 2, 3.
                 This way of eating does seem to be working for me. Will I binge next Saturday?
                 I'm not sure. I felt horrible physically and fed up emotionally. I'll leave it open for now.
         

               

                                               Day Seven

            Still here and still on it one week later. OK I did have a little cheat last night and again
            this morning but it was only a handful of grapes.

            Sometimes there has been a temptation and a hint of boredom but it struck me this
            morning that my first thoughts are no longer the "what can I eat today?" obsession.

            This 1,2, 3 is working for me. (Hey a new mantra!).  Analysing why, I think it is there
            is a freedom to eat anything on my list. I'm not minimizing portions or snacks and
            if the meals are a little strange that's fine because they are filling and I believe nutritious.

            I don't own scales and am relying on the fit of my clothes and yes there is a difference.
            My trousers feel loose around the thigh area and I caught my self hoiking up the waist-
            band today.  I'm sat right now waiting for some eggs to boil which I will have with the
            contents of a small tin of tuna, beans and chilli. I found them in Aldi this week in a
            packet of three and tried them for the first time. Ideal snack.

            I've felt slightly tempted sometimes this week but have stuck with it because I don.t
            have to think about it. I don;t feel deprived and I do like the slight looseness of my
            clothes. Have I convinced you to try it too?

                                                         Day Three

                I've been so determined and stuck to my 123 self imposed rules. My waist has not
                shrunk  (boo) but I can already feel a looseness around the thighs of my work trousers.
             
                The first day was the hardest and if this blog did not exist I would have probably sunk
                my teeth into some cheese on toast. But I didn't.

                So why is this time going to work?  Because it is. Because I became so miserably
                conscious of the continual moan of negative thoughts. I'm not even that large. I'm just
                under 5 foot 4 and am probably a UK size 12 if I'm honest. Which is why none of my                           clothes fit as they are all a 10.

                I'm post menopausal but I'm not buying into the myth that women over 40 have to                               deteriorate into pudgy messes. So who is with me?

                                                    Hello and Welcome


            I've had enough. Enough of constantly thinking about losing weight. Enough of failing at
            the end of another day because I've stuffed myself .  So this is it. Publicly announce it.

            Do you know what has really got to me?  The sheer waste of my life.
                                  
            Of all that TIME just nagging away when I could have been creating and actually being                 present in my life.

            I once read the saddest words are "if only...".  Well no more. I'm doing this.
            Are you with me?

            1) Eat vegetables.
            2) Eat eggs
            3) Eat fish

            Drink coffee with full fat milk.  Drink Water.


            That is it. Until I can pull on my favourite trousers with ease. Until I know I look damn
            fine in my underwear.

            There is enough research to say the short fast weight loss may be the best long term
            solution  and this is what will work for me. I've tried cutting down but I can't. One bad
           day means the end of all those slow results.

            Here goes Day 1.